How to dominate your thoughts when you feel incapable

Photo credit: Kumaravel via Foter.com / CC BY
Hi team growth, welcome back. In today’s post I want to discuss what I do when dealing with something totally new that needs to be done, and not only am I struggling with getting it done but because it’s so new how it makes me feel incapable. I’ll be using an example I facing currently to describe what I am doing to work through it.
Here’s the background. As you know I am working on the startup of this business and writing posts about the businesses startup as I start it up. What a tongue twister! And as I have rapidly discovered there are 101 things that need to be done, and since this is 99% new there are 99.9 things that I have never done before. Some are obvious and okay, others are just weird, and some are totally hard and confusing.
Because I don’t know what to do with every element, and some have needed some heavy researching to get it started, I have felt incapable, lost, bewildered at times. It stops my thinking, I feel slightly sick, and I lose hours and hours drilling through options that I do not know where the alternatives are.
And yet, here’s the kicker, when I sift through the problem looking for alternative options and ways in it and through it and around it I find eventually that I can turn it around. This is certainly a real test on my mindset as I battle with the lack of flow in the most important time of the commencing of this new business of mine.
So, what to do? I know now, since this type of paralysis is not a new thing having been through many ‘self induced early morning sweat fests,’ that for me to get through this I have a plan of attack to not only get through it but to dominate it.
And it is self induced, that’s the point of this post, to know that many issues we face in our life whether new or existing are created and built up by our minds to crazy heights, and because we build them up to mountainous proportions we may give up before we have even begun.
So my job is to realign my thoughts from running in every direction to the direction I want them running. I have to be in charge of my thoughts. That’s my job.
Here’s the way I go about working through such an issue.
Acknowledge there’s a issue
To be in charge of my thoughts I first acknowledge that there is an issue. This may appear to be an easy process, but it is often a real stumbling block. To begin working this out I first have to recognise it is on the radar. That’s the start.
Then once I have got it on the radar I become aware of all the other sneaky thoughts creeping around effecting my feelings, making me feel down. Once it’s put on the radar it helps bring my thoughts back on track. Once I’ve got this far I know it’s only a matter of time before I have solved the riddle.
And it’s interesting because when I recognise this moment half of the battle has been won. I feel calmer knowing I can handle it, I’ve handled issues before and this one will be no different. This is a very important point. Just being in the space of recognition helps slow me down. That’s 50% of being in charge of my thoughts dealt with already.
When you recognise there’s an issue here’s what to do first
- Acknowledge that there is an issue. Get it on the radar.
- Acknowledge you know you will be able to handle it.
- Acknowledge you are already on your way to solving it.
- Smile (I like smiling and it lifts my mood. Give it a go, even if you’re feeling crappy about the issue)
Being prepared
OK, so I’ve acknowledged there’s an issue and I am 50% of the way there to getting through it. Good start. The next 50% is all about being prepared.
By being prepared I mean I follow this routine of going through the situation as systematically as possible. To be prepared I follow a specific routine and it works for me. Here are the steps I take.
- To be prepared takes a focused mind. To start the process I actually get stuck sometimes and do a little procrastination dance with myself first. I know I have to tackle the situation, but in the early part of the recognition moment I often don’t. It’s like I am avoiding it. It’s a gap in my plan that I am working on. I put it down to a self preservation mechanism kicking in to keep me away from the heavy mind lifting that’s about to start.
- “What’s going on here?” Once I have caught up with the moment of procrastination and taken charge of my thoughts, knowing I have to work through the issue, I get focused on the real work. I simply ask myself “What’s going on here?” I need to know why this is effecting me so much, and to do that I will spend time, sometimes minutes and sometimes hours, silently asking this question about the issue. What I’m searching for are the deeper concerns about the issue, even though the issue itself may appear quite simple on the surface. There’s always deeper items that are a few layers underneath that need to be uncovered now. I know I don’t want to leave them behind because I know they will resurface at another time which will slow me down again, adding an unnecessary layer of complexity if left unattended. A mind as clear as possible helps me get where I want to go quicker and more efficiently than one with items dragging it down. It’s hard enough as it is right?
- To help me uncover the layers I am searching for I have learnt to not put a time frame on finding them. I accept it will take time. When I do try to put a time frame on the agenda I add additional levels of stress and drama to an issue that is already an issue. Without a time frame I find I can get to the issues quicker. It’s a form of letting go of the outcome. When I let go I get the answers. If I cling to the need to get the answers quickly I bunch up the mental muscles and there is little to no progress. What happens then? Added frustration that’s what!
- I accept I have to wait for the flashes of insight to reveal the answers. To do this I work hard at being relaxed and yet alert. This is probably the hardest part of being in this agitated state when I have an issue to work through, and yet I know in order to break through and provide a solution I have to slow down and allow the process to occur. This takes some practise. I’m still practising too!
- I accept there will be dead ends as I explore what pops up. Of course this is not an easy fix. The thoughts that pop up will not be 100% focused and tangible solutions. If you think about it for a moment this makes perfect sense. Mixed up with the one thought of the issue are all of the other thoughts you have about your life, others lives you are involved with and your relationships, what to eat…you get the idea. There’s a myriad thoughts streaming away. It’s no wonder there are delays with finding the solution. They are there though, which is why it is imperative to stick to the plan and have faith they will appear. They will. Pay attention to the dead end thoughts as they come and go though, one of them might just be the solution or a new idea that could be the key you want. If it’s not, no worries, there’s another thought coming around the mountain soon enough.
- I accept I will not be working on this in the perfect conditions or location. I’ve often been unfair to myself over this one. As much as I want to be in a super quiet space to allow the process to take its natural course, the opposite is often the case. The times when I have a distraction free environment to go to work on an issue are rarely the times I need them, and vice versa. I’ve fallen for the ‘poor me’ mindset when this has happened and it just adds to the drama. I cannot control the moment I need to uncover the solution, control of the universe is out of my hands and so I must accept the moment for what it is and do my best. This is also another space where I let go of what I cannot control. The success rate of achieving this is now quite high which is great, I am making progress.
Using this process yourself is doable immediately. Have a go and see how it works for you. Here’s the snapshot of the whole process so you can come back and remind yourself of the steps.
When you recognise there’s an issue that you want to fix here’s what to do first
- Acknowledge that there is an issue. Get it on the radar.
- Acknowledge you know you will be able to handle it.
- Acknowledge you are already on your way to solving it.
- Smile (I like smiling and it lifts my mood, give it a go, even if you’re feeling crappy about the issue)
Be prepared when tackling a problem, here’s how.
- To be prepared follow a specific routine. Watch out for the procrastination dance.
- Take charge of your thoughts. Ask yourself “What’s going on here?”
- Do not to put a time frame on the process.
- Wait for the flashes of insight to reveal the answers.
- Accept there will be dead ends as you explore what pops up.
- There will not be the perfect conditions or location to find the solution, accept it.
I’ve used this technique to help me clarify many situations, and although it has been many years that I have built this approach, I had to build it from scratch rather than working through it already done. Give it a go and see what results you can achieve.
Thanks, have an awesome day.
Rob
Il meglio deve ancora venire… The best is yet to come























